If you obsessively focus on transcribing the words, you can miss the lesson.

If you study the background with too much intensity, you can miss the plot.

If you hold your phone up to record, you tell your brain it can rest easy.

The memory hollowed. The seeds of nostalgia never planted.

There exists a balance between being mindful to remember the moment and making remembering the moment the priority.

Cool is the confidence in how you wear the clothes, not the labels and logos.

Cool is the time spent to find the harmony between the who and the what. The unseen effort has its credit stolen by the observable.

Cool is when personal preference first mutes out all objections, then silently persuades them to join.

Cool begins with reflection and experimentation in solitude before being recognized by the crowd.

Inspired by Greenlights

Criticism is an exploration of the merits and faults of a piece of work.

But ask a group of people to give a critical review of a movie or a meal, and what ratio of positive to negative comments do you think you will receive?

Finding complaints is easier. Catchier. It rewards the wielder with more attention.

No one prints reviews that say, “the soup was pretty good, but needed a little salt.” 

We’re bombarded with the extremes.

The expectation and norm seem to be that one must love or hate something as the critic.

5 stars or none.

If we don’t love something, we must hate it, right?

Criticism seems to have devolved to a binary state.

We struggle to recognize the merits of the works we dislike and the flaws of the works we admire.

Real criticisms have balance. Nuance.

Perhaps the highest compliment a real critic can receive is that the reader cannot tell whether the object under review is honestly liked or disliked.

It’s tough to find the data, but would you be surprised if nearly 70% of Amazon reviews were 5 stars?

Normalcy is a moving target, identified through the lens of a flawed observer.

When we contort ourselves to achieve normalcy, we rarely factor in taking us X amount of time to get to this normal that we have defined. When we get there, the normal that we were looking for has moved.

If the normal we desire is measurable or identifiable, we are often seeking an association with that item, not the thing itself.

If the normal we desire is a state of being, what we are admiring is the effort in achieving it.

I didn’t expect to find such wisdom in a clip from a daytime talk show, much less one that was discussing the Cleveland Brown’s quarterback. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, but I’ll save it for another day and just give credit to Marcellus Wiley for the inspiration.

“Criticism is the cost of praise.”

I’ll go one step further and argue that criticism is the cost of:

Popularity
Wisdom
Winning
Creativity
Openness
Morality
Honesty

When one succeeds, when one takes the road less traveled or is loyal to themself, criticism will likely follow.

Why?

Criticism is cheap – and all these things are expensive.

Anyone can be a critic. It requires little to no effort.

Few, if any, are held accountable for their criticism.

It’s the cheap, readily available currency used to try to buy some of the “good” that others have earned through effort.

When we’re learning to drive, we are taught to react to danger by hitting the brakes.

Sometimes the best action is to hit the gas instead.

Brakes may minimize the damage we take, but sometimes hitting the gas can avoid it entirely.

This is harder to teach.

This is skill dependent.

This is situation dependent.

The safer, less nuanced, and generally applicable advice is to “always hit the brakes.”

It’s the right way to train the masses—the right way to minimize damage over an infinite timeline with an endless number of drivers.

But it may not be the optimum decision for the scenario playing out on the road right in front of you.

A near-infinite number of combinations of risk and damage mitigation exists.

What if hitting the brakes results in a 50% reduction in damage, but hitting the gas gives you a 50% chance of avoiding it entirely at the risk of taking 25% more damage if you are wrong?

Each situation is unique. A multitude of factors in play. A split-second to decide.

Great drivers learn to make split seconds decisions on whether or not they have the chance to avoid damage altogether.

Hitting the brakes is the safest play, but it is not always the optimal play.

The same thing happens in business.

Amateurs are always looking for a reason to hit the brakes.

Experts know when to hit the gas.

Great public speakers are often not better at speaking but simply better at reacting to mistakes they make.

Skilled speakers confidently move past blunders so well that the audience almost immediately forgets that it happened.

Sometimes they do it so well; you like them more because of the mistake. These speakers so quickly embrace their error and integrate it into their message; it’s downright endearing.

They aren’t better speakers.

They are better at handling mistakes.

Many people trying to become better speakers focus so much on eliminating errors, the tension only gets worse. Despite the hours, days, and weeks of practice, the frustration of each mistake can be infuriating.

While practicing speaking is essential, a significant amount of time should be dedicated to handling mistakes.

If you watch closely, even the best speakers in the world stumble. Often.

You will too.

The ease with which we acknowledge, embrace, and move on from our mistakes says a lot about who we are as speakers.

It shows confidence, not just as a speaker – but as a person.

Sure, why not take a swing at one of the most generally recognized and respected pieces of wisdom that exists.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Now, this is going to get a little bit meta, but

“Do unto yourself, as you would have others do unto you” works as well. I believe it’s step one in following this rule.

We can usually articulate the way we want to be treated.

Themes of kindess, dignity, respect, and love emerge. 

People want to be treated this way.

You want to be treated this way.

But, if you wish others to treat you this way, it starts with you.

It starts with how you treat yourself.1

Treat yourself with kindness, with dignity, with respect, with love.

If needed, forgive yourself. Be patient with yourself. Pay attention to yourself.

The first step in following the golden rule is to follow it with yourself.

Two paths to improvement – just choose your vowel.

Listen to and explore the ways others praise you.

You may struggle to define your strength, your superpower, but others will not.

Themes emerge. Natural gifts may exist that you are unaware of.

Soar with the strengths you find. Embrace them. Multiply them.

Complements accelerate the output and greatness of the individuals.

The elder shares wisdom, while the youth shares new knowledge.

Steak and red wine.

A brilliant architect and a skilled builder.

1 + 1 = 3

We often mistake those who strengthen the tails of our knowledge as competition for the core of our expertise.

Imagine sitting in a crowded movie theater and hearing a fire alarm let out a single chirp, but nothing else.

How many people do you think will take action?

The message (chirp!) was loud enough.

Everyone knows what that alarm sound means—the drills on how to respond start at a young age.

So the message was both loud and clear, but no one took action.

Why?

Because even a clearly delivered and easily understandable message is often ignored.

Unless it is repeated.

Unless it is repeated, we assume it is a false alarm.

As a leader, no matter how loud and clear your message is, if you don’t repeat it, your team, your audience, will consider it a false alarm.